One thing I have learned during this process so far is to find joy wherever I can. Chemo is a bitch. The nausea gets to you and some days all you want to do is go back to bed as soon as you have woken up. Sometimes I wish I could magic the cancer away and think if I went to the gym and exercised hard enough all this would disappear, but life does not work like that. So I distract myself through various means and try to be as upbeat as possible.
As well as writing on my blog and wasting time scrolling through social media (Twitter is the devil), I have been doing my painting and sketching. I’m not one to blow my own trumpet but I’m pretty damn good at art and it’s very therapeutic for me, plus I love the sense of achievement when I finish a painting.
I try to stay physically active, even though the fatigue knocks me out most days. Today, I’m feeling pretty exhausted but restless at the same time, so my aim is to do some yoga to wake and shake myself up. When the wave of fatigue hits, all you’ll want to do is go and sit on your bed and that is recommended, but if you can do something active, go ahead but do not over-exert yourself.
Fatigue during chemo is like nothing else – on a normal day before my diagnosis, I’d have tried to push through any tiredness and keep it moving. Now I can feel tired, breathless and lethargic all at once, so I am learning to listen to my body (something that we are ALL guilty of not doing enough) and rest. That said, I’ve also been enjoying the beautiful Autumnal weather by going for walks. I always thought that Summer was my favourite season, but now I think it’s always been Autumn as I love seeing the leaves change colour and how beautiful everything looks.
Despite having a long list of programmes and films that friends and family have recommended, I have only watched a handful so far. Killing Eve was batshit crazy but brilliant and Jodie Comer was incredible (also, someone drop her skincare routine please. Her face is flawless). I’m also watching – and loving – Informer and stopping myself from binge-watching the whole series.
Music is my big love but I haven’t listened to it as much as I normally do because (for the first few days post-chemo) my ears heard things differently. If I listened to a song, it would sound slower than usual – a bit like when you have a cold and everything sounds a bit off and woozy. Thankfully, it’s a temporary thing and my sound went back to normal after those few days.
Another thing that I absolutely love is ASMR. It’s been in the spotlight recently because celebrities are getting into it, but I’ve had love for it long before it became a trend. It is the most relaxing thing to listen to and some of the ASMRtists (as they are known) are the eighth wonders of the world in my opinion. I put them on and no matter how tired or restless or emotional I feel, I am a zen-like figure of calm by the time I finished listening to their soothing voices. I highly recommend the likes of WhispersRed, LoveToday, MiaASMR and LauraLemurex – they are all on YouTube (you’re welcome) and all I will say is if you do not accidentally head-butt your keyboard while listening to them speak, are you really doing ASMR properly? (I’ve done this myself – highly embarrassing but worth it).
I also try to pamper myself whenever I feel up to it. When I’m not trying to master how to tie my headscarf properly, I slap on a face mask and attempt to feel like a goddess. Always be mindful not to use anything too strong or perfumed, as I have noticed that my sense of smell has gone slightly bonkers during this process and body creams with fragrances that I used to love now make me retch. I bought a cucumber and green tea handwash before I started chemo and I absolutely loved the scent of it. Now, I cannot bear it because it makes me nauseous.
greatbiglump 